I was so delight to open my heart to you
I was so happy when you walk into my heart
I thought you would be the last
I have never expect that you would close your heart
I thought by opening mine you would open your's too
But I was wrong
Too wrong
Very wrong

You break the very heart that I open up to you
Left me alone to pick up the broken pieces
I tried my best to glue the broken pieces
Thought that you will be gone from my heart once I mend it
Yet halfway through the mending
You want me to open up my heart
To allow you to enter again
To allow you to mend my heart

I hand the keys to my heart to you once again
Thinking my fragmented heart will be whole again
I'm wrong once again
You have chosen to smash it into smaller pieces
Once again you left
Leaving me alone to fix the fragmented pieces

How am I going to gather the fragmentation?
How am I going to mend the pieces?
How am I going to make it whole?
How am I going to make the scar disappear?

I have lost my key
How am I going to open up my heart?

I hate you
For losing my key
I hate you
For abandoning me alone to fix it
I hate you
For I wouldnt know how to open it again
I hate you
For making me trust you yet losing the trust again
I hate you
Cause i couldnt bring myself to hate you...

wouldnt it be good if there is a pill that allows you to forget about everything once you consume it?

Year 2008 is a sucky year with so many deaths and separation. It seems to be a lesson to remind me that death and separation are inevitable part of life. So to treasure the people around you.

I believe that putting in your 100% will translate to show how much you treasure a person. However it seems like this "logic" is flawed. Putting in your 100% is nothing if not reciprocated. Putting in your 100% will only serve to hurt you more, and create unneccessary delusion. Creating confusion, uncertainty and pain.

So to prevent the same thing from happening, should I adopt an indifferent attitude? Should I just put in 75% or less of my effort instead of all?

I thought I can accept it coolly. Yet another delusion created by myself. But I believed I can overcome it. It's not the first time but I sure hope it's the last time.

Think recently my post been very depressing, time to write something happy..
My frd's bf had proposed to her and they are getting married next happy. So happy for her since they have been in a relationship for about 8 years. Of course I'm excited partly coz Im going to be her bridesmaid. I have nvr been one and is looking forward to it.

Besides being happy, the news also make me realise that it seems like we are reaching another so-called turning point in our life. We are actually old enough to get married. I begin to wonder what my future be like. I have never thought of settling down since we are still considered young. But the thought of being married actually terrified me too. I dont want to grow old alone but I dont want to get married also. I have also begin to feel that my life is so empty with no achievement. I have no skills. What do I want in future? My future seems so far away.
24 - an age when you are not young or old..

Just tell me what you want, and I will give it to you.... Keeping quiet is just a torture to me..

Am I deceiving myself? Am I thinking too much? Am I too sensitive?? T_T
Exhausted...

Who can I turn to? What can I do?

Life is so tiring..